Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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