How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
