I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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