You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
