That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She tied me up with her honor cords...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
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