Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Too much gin, very little bucket
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
