3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
