My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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