I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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