am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
