That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
