Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
