I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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