i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
