If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
