whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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