every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
im holly from the hills drunk
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
