bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
