Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize