alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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