We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
