We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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