There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
