do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
