just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
