You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
