i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
