oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
my poor anus
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
