oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
