the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
