I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
