There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize