I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
