WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
