There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
