Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
