Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize