ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
