this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
