I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
