i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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