Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You can't just leave with hair like that
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
