literally had 100 drinks last night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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