Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
