6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
