yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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