i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
