Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
