I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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