community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
