Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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