She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it's like iHOP with fire
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
