next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
