I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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