i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
