i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
