my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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