They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
