Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize