Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm always down for nudity.
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