Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
