im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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