If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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