spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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