I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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