Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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